This man tells the world he is locked up for Me by wearing this shirt

As I was sitting for three hours at my office space waiting for the FedEx person to arrive, I fell back on my ol’stand-by for passing the time: trying to figure out the why’s and what’s of who I am.  Today’s topic was centered around today’s ‘release date’… well, more precisely, what I thought about during my car ride yesterday.  I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what I really wanted. There’s A): Freedom!  Which is something I would really enjoy.  I have no doubt I would have one of the best OMG orgasms of my life.  My interactions with You have been an extremely effective build-up and a glorious tickling of my erotic fantasies… but it’s rather short experience, but then I’d have the fun of starting all over again.  or B) Maintain my chastity because the general elation and ecstasy of offering You the denial of my direct pleasure is extremely exhilarating and I get a complete emotional satisfaction of having You in my thoughts whenever I have a free moment or I’m keyed off by something that reminds me of serving You…it’s an ecstasy of submission and forced denial … which to be honest is probably what would make me happiest.  However…     I  realize, and what kinda shocked me, is that both of those choices are wrong.  And to this point, it’s kind of scary, because I think I’ve realized that I am in fact a behavioral/sexual deviant (which is neither good or bad).. which is something I’ve never really considered myself (I’m just an ‘awesome weird cat’- is how I normally view myself).  Well..  the correct answer and the one that actually was the most satisfying and stimulating is: that because both of those choices were a direct desire to bring pleasure on myself, by choosing either one, I would be failing to live up to being a good submissive to You.  The correct answer is, whatever one You decide based on what would bring You the most pleasure in your control (if any) and… honestly, I would find that choice the best choice for me.  It’s also a reinforcement that my pleasure should come from whatever brings You the most happiness.  I’m not sure if that means much to You, but it kinda shocked me that I would be so willing to subvert my very strong personal desires to Your whim… and that made me mentally high.  This made for an extremely painful experience because this epiphany was one of the greatest moments of my ‘freak life’ and made me realize, there’s no real avoiding the fact that I am a true psycho-sexual deviant compared to the normal population.  Externally, it doesn’t make me better or worse, I’m still the same person; and internally it’s definitely something I view positively (those positive compulsions and all..).   But it was something that created a seismic shift in my own self-understanding.  Thank You.

Well… that’s my afternoon share.

I hope your day was productive and thank You very much for helping me understand myself better,

Your happy servant,

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About Mistress Lynne

Mistress Lynne Serve your Mistress, serve your purpose
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