Yesterday, I was faced with a test of My Dominance. I am often tested in this, people will test My dedication, My so-called “experience”, My knowledge, see if I am “for real”. Truth is, I AM A FAKE DOMME. No, I mean it. I put NO effort into being who I am naturally. I just recently got heavily involved in this lifestyle but I have now completely switched. There may have been a part of Me in My past that believed My role as a woman in a sexual relationship was to be sure that My male partner was always milked regularly despite My needs or things going on in My life around Me.
For example, My ex husband of 14 years, who by the way was never a bad lover or had the tiniest cock. He was highly sexed and loved eating Me out the first half of our relationship, but that sort of pleasure stopped at some point. Throughout our relationship, there would be times when his having to cum literally stopped our lives. He eventually refused to get out of bed in the morning until I “took care of his hard cock”. I began dreading it, to be honest. I had stopped liking him and didn’t want to touch him but still felt this “responsibility” to make sure he was milked properly. Eventually, this became nothing but Me jerking him off in the morning to get him out of bed. Fuck, it sounds so fucking depressing!!!!! And it was………. btw. He did NOTHING to serve Me, nothing please Me, nothing to make Me happy anymore. It just became a relationship of Female Responsibility. The responsibility to make sure your man is pleased at all times so that you don’t have to worry about “him” and “he” can have a good day.
But, then what about the woman? Years go by…. I do mean that…… years, and She settles into not being served or pleased and Her body completely shuts down and now that woman is living in a world of dis-pleasure and trying to be okay with that.
So…. That being said, I won’t have it anymore! This is about Me now. I have always been who I am. I do not try to be what I am not. So, if you read My stories, talk to Me, know Me, and your personal opinion is that I am a “true Dominant, not a fake”. Then I assume that to be true because I am who I am. This is Me, take it or leave it.
Yesterday, my well-trained sissyboy alpha came to Me with some concerns. He has served Me well the past 7 months and yesterday he told Me that he wanted to “DOMME ME”!!!!!, ultimately because he is wanting to take from Me what I won’t give to him…. ie: blow jobs, intercourse, and admiration of his little cock (he actually wanted Me to lie). I thought about this and I decided quickly I certainly wouldn’t be sucking on his cock or having intercourse with him. I do really care for him and enjoy our time together but I certainly would not if he was to be My Domme. It just wouldn’t turn Me on. In fact, just thinking about it and picturing it makes Me feel a bit ill to My stomach. I am not submissive at all and I do not desire to be anymore, nope. My enjoyment with him ultimately only stemmed from his submission to Me.
Besides, I am currently saving My Goddess vagina for someone truly special. To give it up to a 4 and a half-inch sissyboy penis certainly isn’t how this game works for Me. For that, he can seek out the 100’s and 100’s of submissive female sluts who will suck on and fuck pretty much any cock you place in front of them. And, if you want that, then so be it. But, I am not that kind of girl.
The old Me would have been very concerned and would have given into him and his needs in an effort to please him, give to him what he wants, so that he wouldn’t leave Me and/or not come back. I truly think that is why most woman give onto a man sexual relief without the man first having been put to the test of his worthiness of Her. I see this lifestyle of allowing men cum quickly because they “need” it and you desire them to spend more time with you as a HUGE and I do mean HUGE act of submission and I just won’t have it!
Oh no!!! Not anymore!!! NO.
So, this is what I told My well-trained alpha sissy slut. “You have a tiny cock, you will have this problem with everyone you meet. You are to stay chastised to Me, serve Me, please Me. We will not have sex. I will not be going down on your little cock. I don’t care if you ever cum again. You will see Me and only Me and if you want to see other people then you will need to ask for your RELEASE before doing that. You will not Domme Me, you will be submissive to Me, and My pleasure is your pleasure. If you feel the need to fuck Me, I will, because I care about you, find a guy locally with a cock twice your size and I will allow you to watch Me fuck him and you to clean Me up after. That will be your way of having intercourse with Me There are no other options with Me “. And, just then, of course, he quickly turned very submissive and worshipped My breasts and then went down on Me while I was bleeding for a long period of time. 🙂
mmmm…. see it worked.
However, after that. He told Me he needed to get his manliness back, that he doesn’t see why he can’t see other people if I am allowed to, and he wants more pleasure in a vanilla way. He also asked if I saw our relationship as “sick and twisted” which I certainly found odd because I really don’t see our relationship that way. In fact, I see it as completely normal. Having had this sort of relationship with him for well over 7 months, this was new statement. So, I asked him if he wished to be released immediately because it was obvious he was getting antsy about “our sick and twisted relationship” and he wasn’t having the truth about his little dick anymore from Me. So, I immediately agreed to release him and he agreed to his release.
I have to admit, I was pretty upset. I did come to tears. There is no question in My mind that I deeply care about this man and that we both went places together that were deep and meaningful. But, I can see that our relationship is limited by his small cock size and he wanted the opportunity to use his small cock in a vanilla way.
I am no longer vanilla. I have no vanilla desires anymore. The thought, again, kind of makes Me ill to My stomach. To anyone reading this who has gone through their life and has chosen TRULY their role in kink and has accepted it, then I am sure I am not the only individual who feels this way. I can’t accept vanilla.
So, I released My well-trained sissy boy and he is now free to use his four and half-inch cock anyway he so chooses. His service to Me has ended and his spot now open.
Mistress Lynne 3/28/14