BDSM – a Guide to Releasing Your Slave or Submissive Responsibly
When a Dominant Submissive Relationship Ends
The relationship between a submissive and dominant or a Master and slave is like all other relationships. Any relationship can fail and in this case it could do so because of a variety of reasons. The couple could have drifted apart or either one of the partners could have met and fallen in love with another. In this dynamic the release could be as a result of extreme incidences of disobedience or dishonesty that could break the trust necessary for this to work. A submissive or slave could also be faced with a situation that he or she cannot handle like limits being broken or safe words being ignored. The needs of the submissive or dominant could also change and either one of the partners could start the process.
Since most slaves or submissives still work outside the home, the dominant needs to make sure that the submissive’s needs for housing are met. He or she could help the submissive find an apartment and help with the first month’s deposit if the submissive had to give money towards the deposit for the place where the couple now lives. The dominant is also responsible for assisting the submissive with the move into the new apartment and to make sure that he or she is settled safely. Furniture and assets that the submissive bought should be returned to the submissive even if the submissive signed over the assets when the relationship started, especially if it is necessary items like a bed or kitchen goods.
The dominant also has the responsibility to ensure that the submissive leaves the relationship with as little emotional scars as possible. Even when the submissive is the cause for the break up, the couple should still go through the discipline process and the dominant should make sure that the submissive understands why this is happening and what to do to prevent this from happening again in the future. The dominant would do well to remain the mentor of the submissive in order to avoid the dangers of a submissive on the rebound falling for someone who will definitely only hurt him or her. As mentor this includes vetting other dominants to ensure her or his safety with the new dominant.
When the submissive released is a slave that has moved into the dominant’s home and has given up his or her job to serve 24/7, the Master or Mistress has even more responsibility towards this slave. The slave must either be handed to another Master or Mistress who has agreed to take them on, or the current dominant must help the slave find employment, housing and make sure that the slave is safe. When a slave is given to another there must be consent on the slave’s part for this since consent is not transferable. The slave must be given protection since this type of submissive has such a great need for control and service, that these are the people who could actually walk into a disastrous situation.
Submissives and slaves sometimes move out of their own property and sell it before moving in with a new dominant. The proceeds of the sale should be kept in a separate account that will be available to the submissive or slave should the relationship fail. The other solution is to rent out the apartment as is and keep the income from that in a separate account for the submissive or slave as well if the mortgage has been paid off. All income that is as a result of a mortgage being paid off should also go to the submissive in case of a break up.
Release must never happen without the ritual of letting go during which a submissive or slave kneels and gives up the collar willingly. All the emotions that have driven the relationship to this point must be shared and talked about at this point. Dominants, be kind to the submissive, even if it is a transgression that has caused this to happen. Be patient and teach instead of judging. Submissives, respect the decision of the dominant. You gave this man or woman the control and need to accept this decision as part of their responsibility to ensure that steps are taken to ensure that the best interests of both parties are taken into account.
I know that quite a few dominants have started savings accounts for their submissive or slave that they deposit fixed amounts into every month. This money is there for the submissive should the dominant decide to release the submissive or should the dominant pass away. Life insurance with the slave or submissive as recipient should something happen to the dominant is also not uncommon.
In the case of a marriage breaking up as well, the law in New York demands that half of all property and assets goes to the wife, even if this was your slave. If there is no prenup, then the dominant must give the slave half of what he or she owns and this can be fought in court. I have heard of Masters or Mistresses kicking slaves out of their home and leaving them out in the cold to subsist on welfare before they can find a job. These people do not deserve to be in the lifestyle and show a degree of irresponsibility that frightens me. The bottom line is that in a contract signed between dominant and submissive or Master and slave, the exit clause should be part of the agreement. Suitable arrangements must be planned in advance and these need to be followed should the relationship ever break up.
I know that these contracts aren’t legally binding, but an employee contract can include provisions for termination of employment and these will be legally binding. Submissives should all insist on signing contracts like these in order to protect themselves. We all like to think that this is the one, but you never know what will happen.