Blog Post of the Day – Devices and Desires (good info for chastity)

Devices and Desires

You stand there. Silent. Obedient. Your Mistress closes the ring around you. For a moment your balls are cradled in her soft hand. You fight your urge. Lust would be disrespectful. And today you must respect. You must be grateful. She slips the cage onto your penis and marries it up with the fixing pins. Finally, your stomach tingles as your new chastity device closes around your genitals and the padlock clicks into place.

You are owned.You are servant.

You are Hers.

It’s personal. Unique. Defining. A chastity device is important, not only in the way it restrains you but in the way it enables you to serve your Mistress.

For you to serve properly your device should fit well, be reliable, reasonably comfortable and not be a distraction. You are there to serve and be denied. And a good chastity device will allow you to do this and more.

We’ve listed 10 points to help you get the right device for you. “I didn’t think of that” is not something you want to say as you realise you’ve spent £200 on the wrong thing. So use our check list and make sure you buy right.
After all, the right device is the best foundation for a chastity lovestyle. Best for you and your Mistress.

1. If this is your first time…

As the world of chastity is constantly growing there are always men who want to learn more about this exciting fetish. After all, the imprisonment of our genitals goes to the very heart of our natural masculine purpose.

Some guys like to explore cock bondage with a ‘Gates of Hell’. Five rings on a strap which fixes round your balls, this isn’t a chastity device as such because it doesn’t lock. It does give that sense of encagement, though. The sense that your cock is surrounded.

Moving on from this is the ‘Stallion Guard’. A proper metal cage with leather straps which lock through a ‘D’-ring. It’s a strong contender at a low price, for many, has been THE entry level device and a great introduction to chastity. The Stallion Guard style can be worn for quite a while, but does need to be removed for bathing and showering.

2. What sort of access do you want?

Almost all devices leave the balls free for play. So it’s a question of how much of the penis you want exposed and what for? More access is great for torment and tease, but offers more opportunities for illicit self-pleasuring when Mistress isn’t looking. Here’s the low-down on the more common types:

  • Completely Open End:
    There are several of these, but, one of the best for this is the Houdini, a handcuff-based device designed for shorter-term wear e.g. weekend games etc. It usually has a completely open end so your glans is available for pleasure (and punishment!).
  • Cage Constructed of Bars:
    An alternative to the above and just as good are devices such as the steel devices and the polycarbonate “CB-2000″ (unfortunately no longer made by AL Enterprises but you can still pick one up if you’re lucky). These encase the penis in a cage of bars allowing for lots of natural ventilation. This type of design gives some access to the shaft of the penis.Designs include “The Curve” (for the larger male) and the metal devices of a similar style. The Stallion Guard is also good in this respect as the last half of the shaft is inside a cage.
  • Partially Closed Design:
    Within this group are devices such as the CB-3000, CB-6000, most of the Master series and Gerecke’s Rondo. These devices have a tube completely encasing the penis with slots or holes for urination. The attraction of these devices this is your penis is more or less completely enclosed and untouchable although a tantalizing touch can still tighten you up.
  • Completely Closed:
    They are a few devices that are completely closed, they have no opening whatsoever. Any device similar in design is perfect for Chastity Play, a short chastity role play enactment, as it ensures your cock is completely denied any stimulation. Excellent for complete denial games. Bear in mind these designs need to be removed for urination.

3. Are you circumcised?

In general most devices will suit both natural and circumcised cocks, but some are more practical than others for the uncircumcised penis.

Some men with a natural or uncut penis may discover that their foreskin protrudes through the urination slots of some chastity devices and this can be uncomfortable. This tends to happen with designs that have a tube completely encasing the penis and a slot for urination, such as the very popular, light weight, “CB-6000″. These chastity devices prevent you from touching your penis and have relatively large vertical urination slot.

Although this design feature is really helpful for allowing a good flow of urination, some men, but not all, find the constant rubbing of the protruding foreskin a nuisance. Others find this situation even causes the foreskin to become inflamed if worn for any length of time. Whether this would happen to you depends on your choice of chastity device and your own personal dimensions.

If you are uncircumcised and the design of the best selling CB3000 or CB6000 particularly appeals to you experiment with pulling your foreskin back to expose the head of your penis as you enter the device. You may also find it helpful to carry a few Q Tips or Cotton Buds so you can gently reposition the foreskin back into the tube.

A small amount of lubricant on the tip of the cotton bud really helps, or try a little aqueous cream like E45. Alternatively using the “Stocking Method” to put your chastity device on might help to prevent your foreskin from bunching up between the ring and the cage.

4. What’s your soft size?

How small is your cock? We guys usually only measure our cocks when we’re hard, don’t we? Well, your cock’s smallest measurements are important when it comes to chastity devices. The average flaccid penis is about 6.5 x 2 centimeteres.

You need to make sure that a) you are going to fit into your chosen device, and b) you are not going to slip out of it.
I mentioned an average dimension just now. There is a LOT of variation.

Some guys are show-ers, which is to say they’re about the same length soft or hard, and some are grow-ers with a fair sizes penis which reduces considerably when resting.

The CB-6000 range has a standard and a short size cage, while Birdlocked have three sizes – Classic, Mini and Maxi (specifically for shaft sizes) – as well another version, the Neo, which has a flanged back ring to accommodate all body sizes.

Generally speaking, the metal ones come in one size only so it can be very useful to invest in a plastic or silicone one to see what size suits you best.

5. When and how are you going to use it?

Some men only want to be locked in at weekends or for specific chastity games with their partner.
This matters a lot because some devices are designed for long-term wear and some are not. The implications for long-term wear are comfort, hygiene and detectability.

Most men once used to wearing their device tend to be locked up in weekly blocks, i.e. 7, 14, or 21 days or for a month or two. However, when you are starting out with male chastity it’s best to agree a target between you and your Mistress for the first few occasions.

This can mean locking you up on Friday night and then releasing you on Sunday evening (or Monday morning if you haven’t done your duties properly). Over the weeks you can extend this period each time, until you’ve settled in to you device and are comfortable for extended periods.

To keep the delights of chastity alive, you need to to a break from it, particularly if you are a long term wearer. Anything we do, any activity we partake of, can become uninteresting and boring if it becomes the everyday accepted way of living. The same is true of chastity. So keep the flames burning with the occasional holiday.

Leather and metal cock cagefully assembled CB-600s polycarbonate device

CB6000 made in polycarbonate by AL Enterprises

Electro-Stim cock cage

The Holy Trainer Chastity Device

Leather Penis Prison with Internal Spikes

6. Materials

What do you want to feel around your cock? Not a question you get asked much, but a very important one here. Some men like the lightweight comfort of the plastic devices. Some, the heavy feel of steel. Silicone device are very popular, having a warm and fleshlike feel – almost like a mouth, according to some.

Let’s look at some of the popular models in different materials:

Plastic Polycarbonate devices are discreet under trousers, light in weight and can be worn for months at a time so long as you adopt a good routine of cleaning and hygiene. This range caters for a variety of different cage lengths with the CB-3000 and the CB-6000 considered to be the average size, the CB-6000s is the smallest length providing a nice snug fit and has proved to be a very popular design. Finally the Curve chastity device – this is the longest cage length and allows for quite a bit of room to grow! This design has a different construction design being similar to a cage of bars (rather than a tube like the CB-3000/6000/6000s) and so it allows for a good natural flow of air. The CB-3000, CB-6000 and the CB-6000s have cages or tubes which completely enclose the penis, with a few air vents, and have a urination vent at the bottom of the cage – this design means you are less able to touch yourself. Security Level – In emergency situations the plastic centre pin securing the cage to the cock ring can be cut with side cutters or wire cutters.

There are many chastity devices available in metal, and a variety of different metals. In general Stainless Steel is amongst the best material and 316 Stainless Steel is the same grade as used by the medical profession, meaning it’s hygienic and body friendly. Metal devices may offer greater sense of confinement and security. They do tend to be a bit heavier than the polycarbonate devices, but some men prefer this extra weight reminding them that they are locked awaiting their keyholder’s permission for release. Security Level – Security is a major design feature of many metal devices. High level security means that metal chastity devices are much more difficult to escape from in situations other than authorised release. A bolt cutter would be needed to cut through the padlock. Escape from the “Houdini”, a chastity device based on a single handcuff, is another matter completely!

Silicone chastity devices first hit the market during 2008/2009 with the Birdlocked device made in Switzerland. The advantage of silicone is that it quickly warms to your body temperature and is far more flexible than any other material. Some designs are provided with separate back rings, whilst others are a one-piece component made with the ring attached to the tube. When silicone chastity devices first hit the market in 2009 there was hope that these might be the ultimate chastity device. All silicone chastity devices are lighter in weight than even the polycarbonate devices, although they can cause some soreness for a few men where the ring tightly grips the skin, this may be improved a little by using talc before putting the ring on. Security Level – In emergency situations the silicone devices and be cut with a pair of kitchen scissors.

7. Originals and copies

We all love a bargain but there are times when saving money can cost you dear. In general, our advice would always be to buy the genuine product whenever possible. There are two reasons for this:

  • 1. the original will always be the better quality of the two.
  • 2. you may have little or no recourse if something goes wrong with the fake.

One case in point has been the CB range. About ten years ago fakes started coming onto the market. Easy to spot, they were about a third of the price of the original, a price reputable sellers cannot even buy at. Often sold on online auction sites and the like, they would suffer joint failures and the rivets in the hinged rings would rust or fall apart. No comeback for the buyer.
Also, beware stainless steel devices which are much cheaper than they should be. These often turn out to be chrome-plated brass. No-one wants to wake up with a green penis!
So our advice is always buy from a reputable mainstream retailer. Because they will never risk their reputation with cheap fakes.

8. Keeping Clean

You need to ensure that the device you choose allows for good hygiene. Devices which are completely open at the end offer the absolute best option, keeping the head of the penis in a good flow of air as well as being easy to clean.

Open tubes allow for a good, more or less uninterrupted, flow of urine and so have far less build up of bacteria than closed or partially closed devices have. However there are few of this style on the market and some men prefer their chastity experience to be more confined and their penis less touchable.

Closed or partially closed tubes can allow for small drops of urine to deposit and gather, and so particular attention to hygiene is essential. Unless used for a play session avoid devices that are absolutely enclosed at the end. There are a few such devices which are closed and have no drainage hole. Some men enjoy these for occasional play sessions because they deny any touch to the penis, however they can only be considered as very short term wear.

9. Looking after your device

Equally important as personal hygiene is attention to the cleanliness of your chastity device. It needs to be removed regularly, inspected and thoroughly cleaned, keeping you and your device in peak condition, an asset to any keyholder!

Chastity devices made of medical grade 316 stainless steel are the most hygienic as they can be boiled completely clean to remove any build up of bacteria. Devices made of polycarbonate tend to build up a particular odour if worn for several days at a time. However, regular removal (under strict supervision, of course) and thorough cleaning with anti bacterial soap helps keep this to a minimum.

Cleaning days are also a great opportunity to play a ‘washing game’. The wearer’s penis is also given a good soapy wash but punishment awaits the man who dare to become erect. And God help him if he should ejaculate…

10. Who holds the key and what to do in an emergency

You are almost never going to be trusted with your own key so here are some things you and your keyholder might like to consider when deciding how to store your emergency key.

Does it need to be stored somewhere that’s:

  • portable so that you have access at all times
  • small enough to fit into your briefcase, pocket or glove box of your car
  • secure enough to give you time to think about you’re doing. To consider “Is this really an emergency situation?”. “Is it essential that I unlock my device now?”. “Am I frustrated and need sexual relief”. Giving you the option to rethink what you’re about to do and to leave the key where it belongs!
  • breakable to gain access to your key in an absolute medical emergency situation, even without your keyholder’s permission.
  • high security and can only be accessed with keyholder permission.

If your emergency key is secured in a high security combination lock what will you do if you keyholder is not contactable and cannot give you the combination code?

If your keyholder feels it best that you carry the emergency key with you so that you can get to it without her help you could:

  • 1. Laminate your key between 2 credit card size pieces of plastic, you could include a note from your keyholder too. This will be easy to carry in your pocket. Although you’ll be able to get out of your chastity device you’ll need to cut the plastic to remove the key, so any unauthorised use of your chastity device won’t go unnoticed.
  • 2. A more secure method would be to use an emergency protable key box with a combination lock. Your keyholder can select her own combination code and secure the key inside. It’s small enough to be portable inside a sports bag, brief case or in the glove box of your car. If you need release and your keyholder is not with you, telephone, text or email her for the combination code. If your keyholder is not contactable and you’re in an absolute emergency situation, you could take a really strong hammer to it, however your escape attempt will be very obvious.

Now, go and ask Mistress

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Mistress Lynne’s Daily Insight

Today is January 31, 2017

I hope everyone is doing well. I had a lovely time in Miami this weekend and have been away but getting back into the swing of things and looking forward to doing some more podcasting coming up soon. I am thinking of reading you some of My childhood diary entries. They are very hot and, even better, authentic Me. I know how much you love that!

I am excited because last night, I got another long distance gamer for the 30 day chastity challenge and I LOVE playing this game. I was hoping there would be one more who would go in about the same time as him so we could have a race. See who makes it to the actual finish line and see which one ends up the BIGGEST LOSER. 30 days in chastity is a challenge, not impossible though.

And remember! If the man loses the challenge, he must buy back his key so he loses the challenge but I get paid. So, that’s even more fun.

If there are any of you that are ready to play today, please contact Me immediately and let’s get started.

I am also seeking someone to purchase a gift card for Me at My favorite nail salon so I may go and get My regular pedicure and manicure. Again, please contact Me directly if you wish to buy that gift card for Me. I will provide you with a number and you will purchase the gift, by phone, under the name of “Miss Lynne”

Any questions? Contact Me!

Mistress Lynne 1/31/17

(972) 885-9663

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View from My hotel room – Miami 2017

I had such a beautiful wonderful time in Miami this weekend and just wanted to give a shout out to the very kind, gentle, slut-man, with a tiny little penis who afforded Me the opportunity to go. On Saturday night, the hotel staff ran a hot bubble bath in My oversized jet tub and spread purple rose petal all over and lit purple lilac scented candles for Me. I then enjoyed a lovely bath alone. What a pleasure. I am sorry none of you pathetic souls that I invited were able to make it. But, I certainly enjoyed Myself.

Mistress Lynne 1/30/17

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Blog Post of the Day – Male Submission – The Worm

As the first in a series of articles focusing on male submission, this article presents thoughts about one of the archetypes of male submission, the “worm.”

Men and women are different, of course, and in some cases that goes beyond the obvious physical characteristics. Almost all of the articles on The Submissive Guide are valid regardless of gender, but there are sometimes subtle differences in application of advice even in the emotional and mental aspects of submission.

One common archetype of submissive men is the worm, a man who wants to be humiliated, degraded, and tormented as much as possible by most any and every dominant woman he encounters. Depending upon the male sub’s orientation, he may want to be treated this way by only dominant women, only dominant men, or regardless of gender. There are submissive women who fit the worm mindset but I believe that it is a much more common desire with submissive men. It is such a common mindset for some sub men that it is a stereotype within the BDSM community that almost all sub men are worms, which is not at all true. Also, the worm type of sub men is sometimes not respected by others even within the BDSM community, which is unfortunate because we should all be allowed to be who we want to be, as long as it is Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC).

Not all submissive men are worms. In fact, I believe that only a small percentage of submissive men are worms. It is not at all reasonable to believe that just because a man is submissive, that makes him a worm. Every individual is unique and has his own needs and desires, which often have nothing to do with being a worm.

What is a worm?

Even that varies by individual and many who enjoy this type of submission may not even classify themselves with the term “worm.” The term “worm” is offensive to some sub men who do not identify as a worm.

In general, a worm enjoys when a dominant, who fits his gender orientation or desire, treats him as a lowly sub-human who must never stand, must never use furniture, must never eat human food, must never make eye contact, must serve as a human toilet, must never be temporarily free from suffering of some sort, and so on. Often, worms enjoy being dominated by a group, though this is not always the case.

Many subs who are not worms enjoy many of these mindsets and even when some of these mindsets are in place 24/7 that does not necessarily make a specific submissive a worm. A worm is mainly the overall mindset of being treated as a sub-human to most every dominant as often as possible. In some cases being a worm is a fantasy where the reality is being a worm part of the time or being only partially a worm, or even being a worm only in the imagination. Note that the term “worm” does not refer to acting like an earthworm, it is a slang term.

There are subs who might be offended that I list an activity they enjoy, such as not being allowed to use the furniture, and categorize that as being a worm. For clarification, the term worm is subjective and it is not the specific activities which classify a worm. For example, if a sub is openly loved and cherished by a dominant and part of that love is manifested in the dominant’s requirement that the sub do not use the furniture, then that is likely not a worm dynamic. By contrast, if the dominant and other dominants think of the sub with disdain (whether real or in role-play) and sometimes kick the sub who is on the floor, then that may be a worm they are kicking.

As with most every sub, a worm has limits. For clarification, breaking an arm is a limit for all BDSM subs, but it’s a limit nonetheless. Many worms would not consent to particular activities, even ones which are commonly associated with worms. For example, a sub man may be a worm but not consent to being involved in anything in the bathroom. Also, many worms only want to be a worm some of the time or to only be treated as a worm by one dominant or by a select few. All worms are unique.

Many worms want to be treated online as a worm by everyone who contacts them, even from the first message. The idea of a dominant sending a message such as “Hi, I saw your profile and you seem interesting” may break the fantasy of some worms who might prefer a message such as “You are a disgusting pig and I demand that you send me a reverential e-mail in return!”

However, and this is very important, it is inappropriate to send someone an initial message containing non-consensual domination such as in my “disgusting pig” example. If a user’s profile explicitly indicates permission to send a domination type message, then that constitutes consent but otherwise there is no consent until the sub provides consent. Unless domination consent is given, an initial message should be polite and neutral, without any domination in it.

Similarly, it is inappropriate for a sub to send an initial message of submission, unless the dominant’s profile specifically provides consent for that. Many dominant women on FetLife receive frequent messages out of the blue from sub men such as “Mistress, I worship you and want to submit to you spitting on me and anything else you want!” This is completely inappropriate as an unsolicited initial message unless the woman’s profile specifically indicates something like “You must always address me as Mistress and grovel at my feet so do not send me a message unless you are worshipping me.” Otherwise, if you are a sub male sending an initial message to a dominant woman, please be polite such as commenting on something non-sexual you like in their profile or on a group message board comment they posted, and if she wants you to submit to her then that can happen later once she gives you consent, not in the initial unsolicited message.

Why would a submissive man want to be a worm?

The worm dynamic may seem very undesirable to many subs. The answer to why is unique to the individual. Why do any of us want to be the type of subs we are? As long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, then a worm should be free to explore his identity and desires. We should all recognize that there are many different submissive mindsets within BDSM and just because we may not like specific mindsets, that does not make those mindsets any less valid to others.

Is it safe and sane to submit to sub-human treatment by every dominant? That depends upon the situation. For example, if attending a BDSM party by a trusted host in which it is known that attending worms will be free to be worms, and if there is some sort of screening process such as only invited guests are attending, then yes it can be safe and sane. Just as with any sub, a worm should judge the situation for safety.

Difficulties of  Worms

There are difficulties which are somewhat unique to worms. From what I have read on FetLife and other web sites, dominant women generally do not want a worm as a long term partner and instead often want a strong man who submits. If the worm is a strong man, there may still be great compatibility if the dominant woman enjoys treating the sub as a worm a certain amount of the time. However, I have seen comments from many dominant women that they do not enjoy the worm dynamic at all, so as with everything else it is up to the individual. Finding a long term compatible partner is difficult for most everyone, not just worms.

Another difficulty for worms is that it seems to me that there are a whole lot more submissive men who are worms of some sort than there are dominant women who enjoy the male worm dynamic. I have seen comments and profiles of dominant women who do enjoy the worm dynamic, but I have also noticed that many of those dominant women who enjoy the worm dynamic are also Pro Dommes and/or Financial Dominants. Consequently, many submissive men who are worms often feel the need or, in cases of an enjoyment of Financial Domination, the desire to pay money to be treated as the worm they enjoy being. In some cases paying money fits the worm dynamic, but there are also many worms who do not want to be financially dominated.

Is it too much to ask to find a long term partner who is a dominant woman but does not need money to change hands early in the relationship? It is not too much to ask, but as with any compatibility it is not easy finding the right match.

How does a man know when a dominant woman requires money? If a dominant requires money, then usually there is a reference to money in the her profile such as “I enjoy Financial Domination,” “I love being spoiled,” being a member of Financial Dominant groups, or being a Pro Dominant. References such as those do not necessarily mean that they require money but it is often an indicator that they do. As usual, it is recommended to read the entire profile. This is actually a common issue with sub men who are looking for a dominant woman, especially sub men who are worms, in trying to ascertain whether a particular dominant woman who enjoys the worm dynamic would require money to change hands.

Doesn’t being treated as a worm mean that the man just does not want a loving relationship at all? As with everything, that depends upon the individual. Many worms do want a loving relationship with the display of love sometimes, though generally not always, being through the worm dynamic, despite how contradictory that seems. I know one FetLife user whose loving dominant wife treats him as a very low worm literally crawling in the mud of their backyard and being intermittently chained and beaten in his own muck for an entire weekend, and as a much less worm-type BDSM slave the rest of the time.

In fact, even for submissive men who are not worms, many of them enjoy when their partner is “mean” to them in some of the worm-like ways or in different ways. And there should not really be any quotes around the word “mean,” many subs desire or need truly mean treatment from their dominants. It is a paradox: “I want you to do to me things I don’t want you to do.” There are informational web sites for dominant women on how to be mean to their man, and many Femdom fictional stories are about a woman being intentionally mean to the man they love. Being loving and mean at the same time is a talent. And the usual caveat applies, not all sub men enjoy when their dominant is mean to them, it is completely up to individual preferences and it is not reasonable to assume that a man being a sub implies that he enjoys anyone being mean to him.

Personally, I enjoy the worm dynamic from a fantasy standpoint but the reality of more than just a taste of it from my dominant wife, even in a safe environment, would be difficult for me at best. Fantasy versus reality will be the subject of my next article on male submission.

So if you meet a worm, then please treat him with respect because everyone deserves the right to be who they want to be. Or … if you and he both consent, then feel free to treat him with the lack of respect he deserves.

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